Bag for Life

This next story takes place in Ibiza. One of the best holidays of my life, but this experience was most definitely not!

After spending the day drinking copious amounts of Ocean Beach Daiquiris I’ve met this bloke who seemed to be really into me and the feeling was mutual.

The sun has gone in and the pool party has died down so we agreed the next move would be going back to his hotel (not forgetting the impromptu visit to KFC on the way which was a must).

We have made it back, it’s all getting a bit hot and heavy but I had the sense to stop it until he put on some protection. He’s gone off for a bit to find some, returned turning all the lights off and jumped back on the bed and it carried on.

A few moments in, I’ve started hearing a rustling sound, and could feel something scratching on my bum. I must be laying on a plastic bag, I’ve given it a little tug it’s not moved and he’s stopped.

So I’ve shuffled around a bit and turned on the side light.

“What the fuck is that?”….I’ve said

“What?”..... he said

“What the fuck is that around your dick?”.... I’ve asked

“Couldn’t find anything”……he said

It was only a plastic bag that he was using as a condom!!!

So absolutely shocked and horrified I've got up and started looking for my clothes. Only thing is, after a day of Watermelon Daiquiris, I turned a bit wild and I’ve remembered that I started dropping clothes on route to the apartment. I am panicking and I now can’t even find my bikini.

I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and ran out the hotel room. Walked down to reception, asked them to call me taxi. Let me tell you it was the tiniest towel in the freaking world, it was a hand towel and positioned correctly it just about covered the nipples and the bean but not anything on the back!

“Your taxi is outside” the receptionist said. I’ve walked out the front and it’s a pedestrian street! I have walked back into reception and asked, “Where is it mate?” (let’s not forget the receptionist has just had full view of my backside walking out as the towel only covers my front bits).

“You have to walk down to the Egg!”. GGGRRREEEAATTTTTT! Anyone who has been to Ibiza knows that the Egg area is full of drunken idiots and PR staff until about 7am!

So I’ve strolled down to the Egg, not looking up at a soul and I hear someone let out the most almighty roar “Go on Girl”. Basically the whole strip cheered and I went as red as a tomato! Jumped in the cab and slumped down hiding in the back.

Probably the single most embarrassing moment in my life. But what a great story!

Thank you to the Ultimate Party Girl, a very good friend of mine, for letting me put this on the blog. I hope everyone enjoys it and its gives you something to laugh about whilst you are all on your Sunday come downs.

xXx