Dick pic's - The do's and the dont's!
Right let’s get down to it. I know a lot of you lot have been waiting for this one! So let’s go!
Dick pic’s! Some people love them some people hate them. Hopefully my advice will encourage “good dick pic’king”.
The rules:
1. Please no baby oil or lubes – It seriously makes it all a bit creepy!
2. Please, please, please make sure your dick is clean when you take the photo. I know it’s an obvious one but seriously you would be surprised. Unfortunately down to the Revenge Porn situation with the courts I can’t provide an example, but please just make sure it’s clean!
3. Send it at an appropriate time! If you send it at 10am on a Monday morning, when most of us professionals are in a Managers meeting it’s not going to carry out the desired effect.
4. Do not send it on WhatsApp! Most of us have WhatsApp settings at save to Camera roll as a default. So it’s highly embarrassing when we are showing our loved ones our holiday snaps, if your dick pops up in-between, its red faces all round.
5. Snap chat and Dick pick’s go hand in hand. No one wants to see it more than once….Ok maybe on a replay but after that we are good. Seriously.
6. Never ever send a pic when it’s on a flop or if you’re going on a flop. You’re just gonna let the side down!
7. This one is important…. If you have a mirror or reflective surface in the room then please for the love of god make sure that we can’t see that your dirty pants are scattered on the floor in the background or that you’re doing anything weird.
8. The lighting is important. If you are going to send us a dick pic there is no point it being in complete darkness! On the other hand though we do not want to see that shit lit up like a Christmas tree!
9. Just send us one! No matter what camera angle you use, its always going to be the same size!
10. Pick your audience wisely. If you not sure if she’s a dick pic kind of girl, my suggestion is drop it into a conversation as a “joke” and she how she responds! This will save you a hell of a lot of grief and the risk of being called a dirty little perve when you have just spent the last 30 minutes of your life trying to get that "perfect angle”
11. My last and final rule is for the girls! – See I am not a raving feminist (far from it)….. Don’t screen shot the dick pic! It just ruins everyone’s fun!
Hope you enjoyed that one people!
Sayonara…. I am off for Bed
This is me out……*Mic Drop*
Peace x
